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It Will Work Out, It Always Does.

by Maura

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1.
Headshot 02:01
I am too scared to say that honesty is the only thing that speaks, or that those simple sappy melodies you sang still cloud my memory while I am trying to fall asleep. Restless eyes growing weak in time. I am too scared to fall asleep tonight but it is your birthday. I know we'll catch up soon as your ghost steps through my room but I have not felt you in some time. But, I have seen you in a dream and you were only seventeen so please return to me. Please return to me. I know you weren't the only thing that ever really inspired me because Billy Corgan spoke to me and Buddy Holly spoke to me, and Brian Wilson spoke to me and Paul McCartney spoke to me. No, I don't have much to show but you taught me everything you know so please return to me. Please return to me.
2.
All I really need is you tangled in my sheets like the knots in your hair. All you want to see is my face between your knees. You want to scream. You want to rip out every follicle and scratch this hide to bone. You want so badly to be selfish and I want to be each notch in your bedpost. All I want to see is the sweat beading on your cheeks. It is here you breathe. All you really need are the salts dripping from me. This skin is clean, but biology is careless. Science never was my thing. I am awkwardly exposed and you want all I cannot bring. All you will get from me is some sticky fucking sheets.
3.
Fool Me Once 02:53
I saw grenades today and they float in a particular way and it is strange how "it's" always fleeting when you want "it" to stay. Well, I could shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die, but I would rather kiss the sun and feel it blister my eyes. I'm not a renegade or outlaw, nor the pocket on your coat. I'm not the finger on the trigger or the finger in the moat, so believe in me now and I will always believe in you. I dread it when I say that "it" scares me because one day I might not be here to wish for everything I will never be. So, lets talk motives. Lets get on track. Believe in me once and I will pretend to get it back. Crazy cock-rock blow-jockey. This bomb keeps growing on and it is deep down inside of me. Feel free to believe that everything lacks a feeling while I keep hanging on by a thread from a shoestring. What's worth remembering is sure to be worth something. What's worth remembering has got to be worth something, so believe in me now and I will always believe in you.
4.
Mary Todd 01:52
Check out the chain gang and rehearse the scene. If you don't know anyone you are not anything so keep keeping on the dead end dream and screaming over dead end beats. Get a load of the dream team getting a load of me! To each his own half-empty philosophy. You just make it look so god damn easy. If you think you will always know where I am at or where I am coming from you won't. I am a barricade you will break, so where is the fun in such a game? I am a candle in a shitstorm, babe, this light will surely fade away. But "Happiness is A Warm Gun" and I am only heating up. Is it really even worth it in the end? Is it really even worth it at all?
5.
You left your skirt and shoes in my room so you must be coming back soon. I found your hair-ties and bobbie-pins too so you must be coming back. I kept these gifts from you. They are something familiar to sleep next to. What else was I to do? I’d like a house boat, a life at sea, but I get seasick in the bathtub. I’d kill myself to breath the smell of the North Atlantic while I sing just me and me. I hate to believe that you didn’t really mean those things you said to me. Those things you said to me weren’t all that easy to swallow. So happy birthday! Happy fucking birthday to me! I want to hate you for everything you never did to me…

about

Recorded in December of 2011 with Sean Fitzpatrick.

credits

released January 20, 2012

Million thanks to Fitz, for awesome recordings. All the love to my friends and family for dealing with my emotional bullshit all the time.

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Maura Somerville, Massachusetts

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